HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
