yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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