I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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