last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
