can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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