duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
