Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
