idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
