they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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