Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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