Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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