He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
