is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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