My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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