Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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