I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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