when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize