Swine flu. Run for my life!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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