whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
