i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Are we still banned from the library?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to fling myself into the sun
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
