the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize