Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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