She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
