he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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