so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
