he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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