ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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