totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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