He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
