Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
