What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
