I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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