He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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