Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
