i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
