...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My pussy is not your playground.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you had me at cake vodka
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
