I love black thongs
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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