ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
