He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Small penises have feelings too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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