Me too!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize