You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
