you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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