I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
