His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
