how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
