And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
