So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
