K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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