I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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