Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
