We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize