so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
