11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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