I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
