So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bring me that man meat
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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