Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize