So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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