We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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