I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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