and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize