i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
