i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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