I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
a search helicopter?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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