He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
