why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
