It's Friday. Sex?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize